Friday, January 15, 2010

It's OK.

Other than a vague reference in my Little River Canyon photo post, I hadn't posted about the fact that Brett and I were expecting a little one in late July/early August. We received a bit of concerning news at our 7 week appointment and became extra cautious about sharing. We told close family and friends, but that was it. My OB wanted to do another ultrasound at 10 weeks, but there was a scheduling conflict so it got bumped back to 11+4, which was Wednesday. My intuition told me that there was something majorly wrong, but I tried to have faith and think positively. Unfortunately, we learned that our baby stopped growing around 8 weeks.

My emotions have been all over the place in the past two days, but as incomprehensible as it sounds, it's OK. I'm OK. We're OK. I truly feel as if the Lord has been preparing me for this for the past several weeks. As I sought Him in prayer, I just knew that this baby wasn't one that we were meant to keep. I'm still mad as a hornet thoroughly upset and I'm still questioning God. The good thing is that He is strong enough to handle my questions and doubts and is still standing there with open arms when I'm ready to give them up.


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